They know each other.  They’ve known each other all along?  They just met?  Why?  How?  My mind is whirring.  I think I covered.  I don’t think he noticed anything, luckily he was talking, telling more Daniel stories, and I smiled and nodded and listened and all the while wondered what the hell is going on.

I feel betrayed.  I know that’s selfish, I know I should be focusing on what this could mean for the murders, I know that Malin proved herself to not truly be my friend already, but, stupidly, pathetically, a part of me is wailing, “but she’s myyyyyy friend!”  If they’ve known each other all along, has Malin been reporting to Tove everything I’ve said about her?  Did Tove ask her to befriend me because I seemed like such a lost cause?

The more I think about it, the more our meeting seems suspicious – how many times has Anders told me, have commenters here told me, that Swedes just don’t approach strangers and offer them friendship?  I’ve thought all along that she was just an exception, but now I feel like I’ve been taken for a fool.  Was the whole thing a set up?

How does this tie in with her ridiculous accusations about this blog last week?  Was she speaking for Tove suggesting I’ve aided and abetted the killer somehow?

But Tove and I were on the same team.  When we met that day in the bus station then traveled back to Stockholm together, I felt close to her, like we were together in this, trying to figure out stuff for all of our sakes.  She confided in me about von Dursen and how she got the information, doesn’t that show she trusts me and sees me as someone close to her?

Or was she lying?  Obviously von Dursen didn’t say anything about the will, however much he wanted to help Hanna he’s not going to randomly confess that to me, but that means I’ve only got Tove’s word for it that the will and everything exists – was that some kind of wild goose chase to get rid of me?  To involve me, make me think I was trusted?  Right before Malin got back in touch out of the blue and accused me of being responsible.

Are they confusing me on purpose?  Setting me up somehow?

Rabbit hole.  I’m in a rabbit hole.

But there isn’t an innocent explanation for this, and there isn’t an explanation that doesn’t involve me, and I’m scared.  Even if it’s just that they happen to know each other, Stockholm is a small town and all that, why did they never tell me?  At the very least they’ve been lying to me for some reason.

I’m frightened and I’m frightened for Anders.  He is the next link in the chain.  I feel that in my gut as strongly as the feeling I got that made me pull an illegal U turn and speed back to the rest home to hold my Grandma’s hands for the last few minutes.  But how am I supposed to protect my giant viking from somebody who overpowered Daniel?  I feel like I want to wake him up and pack a bag and go to the airport right now.  He’s not under suspicion any more, Nadja Johansson told us that herself.  Isn’t that what we were waiting for before escaping?

I just called Tove.  It’s whatever-AM, but I don’t care, I don’t want to be in the dark any more.

She was awake.  She doesn’t sleep much these days, she said.  Without any preamble, I blurted out that I saw her at Gildas yesterday.  Two days ago.  She said, “okay,” with a question in her voice, like, “so?”  For some reason, I backed up.  I started babbling about how Anders and I had gone for the walk and we were taking a weekend off and wanted a hot chocolate — then she cut in.

“Anders was there?  You should have come over.  Liv would have loved to say hi to him.”