Tove I understand.
She taunted you that night, didn’t she? After I went to bed, and Daniel and Anders were in their drunken stupors, she started lecturing you about how relationships were for losers and humans weren’t cut out for monogamy, and when you objected she proved her point by telling you about Daniel. Right? She was laughing, caring more about being right, being clever, being funny, than the fact that she had just shattered your world.
Then she left. Maybe she got mad because you weren’t laughing, maybe she did storm out like you said, but it wasn’t Anders that went too, it was you. That’s how you found her body, right? While we were in the woods, stumbling around in the darkness, freaked out and terrified out of our minds, you went straight to the jetty, didn’t you? You waited long enough to make it seem like you had just stumbled upon her. Did you stand there watching her body floating in the frigid water, counting in your head? Then when you heard the sirens, you started to scream.
Did Daniel suspect? Did he realize that he didn’t remember Hanna hitting on Anders that night, he had just accepted what you told him? Did he start to question you and you panicked? Anders told you I was going to talk to the farmer, did that jog the memory of seeing someone standing in the window?
I was scared when I saw you in the coffee shop the other day. You were sitting having a fika, chatting to a friend, and I didn’t wave and come over to say hi. I turned around and pushed Anders out, and my mind leaped onto this crazy train of Liv and Malin and it wasn’t until I came clean and started thinking clearly again that it clicked that the sight of you had frightened me so much. That day in the bus station, you were so mad at Hanna. Of course you had a right to be, but it was more than that, the way you kidded around about hating her, were you sounding me out? Did you think I could be an ally, because you had read that I hated Hanna, had guessed that Malin didn’t exist and knew I was unstable?
And you were so calm when we arrived at your apartment; I remember seeing your expression as I fainted, you looked, curious almost, intrigued by all the fuss.
Tove please don’t do this. Anders didn’t do anything, he has been on your side all this time. He was your original friend, remember? Even if it did take you five years to talk to each other. Please Tove – I’ll be your witness, I understand, I will help explain – you’re not thinking straight, you’re not responsible… but if you do this, if you hurt Anders, I will kill you.
Right now. I won’t even think twice.
It’s your choice.