Chain Reaction

It struck me over the weekend that our apartment looks exactly the same.  Anders' kooky storage boxes and my pile of random crap from my suitcase I've never got around to putting away.  The photo of us from Thailand is...

Cops

The next morning I sat on the giant, blue, double decker bus headed for the sticks, watching the nondescript countryside zip by through the drizzle. I toyed with my phone.  I don't trust the police.  My Grandma, for all her...

Worlds Collided

I asked Anders to come to dinner with me. I knew that it would be the last thing he felt like doing, but after how energized I got from those few seconds of feeling like a real human being with...

Are You Lonely?

Proving that the universe has a sense of humor, this morning I received my letter from SFI telling me that I can start a course in two weeks. I considered tossing it in the garbage: we could be on our...

Escape

I feel like I have been riding a runaway horse since it happened. It has been galloping wildly through snippets of memories, and half bits of information, fear and sadness and dizzying confusion, and I have only just been holding...

Identity

"Why didn't you tell me Jenny was dead?" All the way home, I had planned how carefully I was going to approach the subject so that Anders wouldn't shut the conversation down before it started, and now I had ruined...

Anders’ Girlfriend

After the speeches were over, everyone started milling around. Some guy passed out glasses of champagne and people would toast Hanna. As I wandered amongst the little groups of people I heard laughter, and saw occasional smiles through tears.  That's...

Memorial

It was held on the little prison island I spent most of the summer paddleboarding around. As I followed the flickering candlelight towards the clearing where they were gathered, I kept remembering the last time I walked on the island,...

Blackout

This isn't what I signed up for. I sat there in that coffee shop wondering what the hell I was doing there.   I came here to start a new life, a better life, not wait outside police stations and...